Last blog of the summer, before university starts. =(

So this weekend was Frosh Week at York. Basically, you're at York from like 10 am to like 1am, playing games, meeting new people, hanging out, watching shows, waterfights and end the night with a huge party.

So, today, Labor Day, I was on my way to York. Of course bussing took a bit longer because of a holiday when something weird came up.

It's weird how I notice these things but everytime I think about someone from the past, whether they are dead or made an impact in my life, I come across a butterfly.

So today, I was thinking about a special person that made a dent in my heart. I was thinking of "what ifs." What if the person was still with me today, would my life still be the same? Would I meet new people? Would I grow closer to those friends from the pass? Would my summer be this great?

I was sitting in the Viva transit booth thinking about this person when this white butterfly flew in front of me and landed. It stayed there for a very very long time. I kept staring at it wondering when its going to fly away. But it didn't. When I started to approach it, then it flew away.

Seeing that butterfly fly away just kinda just make me feel sad that that person is no longer in my life. I tried to fix things but I guess the person doesn't want things to be fix. It might have been the person's fault for ruining things between us and others, but in a way, I still blame myself. Part of it was my fault because I guess I didn't let the person live to it's fullest but I only wanted what I think was best. I feel sad when I see the person's msn online on my contact list. I still want to talk but the word 'friends' doesn't apply to the person.

What can I do now ? Say I'm sorry ? I've already done that but the person never apologize for hurting me. I can't really do much. I can't make the person apologize if the person doesn't want to. I guess I will just have to wait.

Whether the person believes it or not, I still love that person just not like before. I don't carry around angry or depression wherever I go, I put a smile on my face. But it's that indescribable feeling that I feel and carry around for those I care so much about.

And about the butterfly, I named it Riley.